Meet the family

I think it’s time I tell you a little more about my host family. My situation is somewhat unique in comparison to the other volunteers because I practically live in a “double” host family.

The house in which I live is connected to its neighboring house through a shared garage behind which are some more rooms. The house that I live in belongs to Pak Rohim, his wife Bu Ama, his ten year old son Ulin and his six year old daughter Mila. The rooms behind the garage belong to Mbah Kakung and his wife Mbah Putri. They are the parents of Bu Ama. In the connected neighbor house we have Pak Sirun, his wife Bu Cheuria and their eleven year old son Hammam. Pak Sirun is the elder brother of Bu Ama and thus also the son of Mbah Kakung and Mbah Putri. So in effect, although my housing situation is divided into three, everyone is part of the family. We all walk freely between the houses and the children play together while their parents chat in front of the shared driveway. Thus I am part of a family of ten.

I am very grateful to have landed in this family for several reasons. First of all, they are fantastic people. I have fun with everyone and after four months here our relationship is quite close. Secondly they are a very typical Indonesian family in terms of wealth, religion (Muslim) and culture (Javanese). While staying here I am getting a very accurate picture of what life for many Indonesians on the island of Java is like. Thirdly no one in my family speaks more than a few words of English. This has forced me to learn Indonesian and some Javanese*. It was difficult at first but this situation gave me great incentive to study. By now I can already speak fluently with them and most Indonesians.

Now some specifics on each member of my family:

Pak Rohim

He is the man in the family that I see the most because I live under his roof. He works as a carpenter for one of the many furniture companies in Jepara. Jepara itself is the heart of the Indonesian woodworking industry and supplies all of Indonesia. Its sofas, chairs, tables, wall ornaments and sculptures are also very popular in the export market. During the day he is usually in Jepara working but once he comes home around the afternoon we play chess at times, watch a football match or boxing fight together or just relax and chat on the front porch in the cool nights. We also go to the occasional night-time live music performances held in the village to celebrate a marriage or a circumcision.

Bu Ama

She is Pak Rohim's wife and stays at home most of the time as she doesn’t work. She does most of the household activities in my third of the house and I often watch her cook to learn and occasionally try some dishes myself. Now and again I accompany her to the street vendors to do some grocery shopping.

Ulin

He is Bu Ama’s and Pak Rohim’s ten year old son and enjoys playing with his friends after school, watching Jepara’s local team Persejap in the national league and watching Naruto episodes in the evening. He also owns a large collection of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards.

Mila

She is the six year old daughter of Pak Rohim and Bu Ama. During my first weeks she was incredibly shy, always hid from me. But since then she has become used to my presence and often runs up to me calling “Mas! Mas! Lihat ini!” which means: “Older brother, older brother! Look at this!” The things she shows me tend to vary in their degree of "spectacular" but nevertheless she is always keen to share.

Pak Sirun

He is my “other” host father and I see him most at school since he works there as the senior administrative staff member. Every morning he takes me to school and usually, unless I want to stay longer, I go home from school with him too. In the afternoon he is usually the only host father at home, since Pak Rohim returns from Jepara around five o’clock. So if I want to go anywhere I usually ask Pak Sirun. Besides working in my school he also teaches Arabic to the children of the village every Monday and Tuesday afternoon in the madrassa (the Arabic word for school).

Bu Cheuria

She is the wife of Pak Sirun and works as a teacher of Islam at the nearby Junior High School. Besides that she also hosts four host children (girls of around 16) from another nearby Junior High School which offers a specialized curriculum to train students for work in the textile industry. Although they live in Bu Cheuria’s part of the house, I rarely see them. They are often in school, have their own small section within the house and keep to themselves most of the time.

Hammam

He is the eleven year old son of Pak Sirun and Bu Cheuriya. He likes to play the football videogame on Pak Sirun’s computer against Ulin and also has a large assortment of Indonesian pop music. I don’t see him as often as I do Ulin and Mila because he sleeps in the other house. He also takes his schoolwork very seriously and sees his tutor regularly in the evenings.

Mbah Kakung and Mbah Putri

They are the quiet parents of Pak Sirun and Bu Ama. They sleep in the rooms behind the garage but, due to their age, don’t work anymore. They sometimes help with the cooking or any handiwork that is being done but besides that they also keep to themselves.

*Something that surprised me when I came here is that Indonesian is in fact a second language to most Indonesians. In Sumatra there are even several million Indonesians who never actually learned to speak Indonesian. This is because Indonesian has only existed as the national language of Indonesia since 1945, when it declared independence from the Dutch. Before the arrival of the Dutch colonizers the entire archipelago was split into little kingdoms each with different cultures, customs and languages. Only after the Dutch had laid claim to this area did the united Indonesian state emerge. This is why the people around me all prefer to use Javanese, their mother tongue, in everyday situations. Indonesian itself is usually only used on official or ceremonial occasions, and in official buildings like schools, hospitals or government offices.